Dramatic person gone. Ftw! 8D

Ok so there is this guy. I dunno fucked up story known him most of my life. So anyways
his mom is getting married on Halloween. He will be known as Mr ? cause I dunno I'm not about to slap people's names and bad talk them all over the internet lol.

So anyways his mom's wedding is on Halloween. So he um was going to ditch his mom's wedding after 30 mins after the Reception (party part) got started. He was going to go out Halloween drinking @ the bar. His excuse to miss it was it was his "Mother's fault for having it that day when he wanted to go out Trick or Treating" Which makes absolutely NO sense since he has already told everyone he's going to the bar. Well funny story. He's also a compulsive liar. You essentially can't believe a lot of what he says well almost anything he says actually. He went and told this girl this and then told me he was staying @ the reception for 4 hrs then leaving. Anyways I respect his mom. She's a nice gal and yea she's pretty epic win and awesome. So anyways the conversation over text goes like this.

ok so basically it started with hearing from Kellie
that Mr ? was going to ditch his mom's wedding only stay 30 mins @ the reception to get drunk with some girl in a bar in the town over.
talking to him about it
he lied said he was staying 4 hrs (he’s a compulsive liar proven many many many times.)
Nessa: "Yea. No comment >>"

Mr ?: What? I'm not bound by ball and chain.

Nessa: "You have no respect for your mother i can see after what she has done for you."

Mr ?: "how fucking dare you. I have more respect for my mother than you do. She doesn't mind that I'm going, and I think four hours is enough."

Nessa: Yea. Mom bought you a car helped with your car. Helped find your apartment has done everything almost for you. It's her special day and you can't hold off till another halloween to be happy for your mom? There are many halloweens to come but 1 day that your mother asks of you. But 4 hrs is enough. And sorry to burst your bubble but I do respect your mom since I booked and am going to the wedding
and I'm not even her daughter.

Mr ?: Stop fuckin texting me. I'm done with your selfish self centered bullshit.

Nessa: No it's you that's selfish and self centered since you cant even stay a fuckin day for your mom and it's all about you. All cause it always has been. I am done with how cruel you are and your compulsive lying and the way you treat people and your excuses.

So I was out @ Boston Pizza with 2 good friends while this argument happened. So then I come home and @ 7:37 he leaves me a message on my msn. The Conversation goes as following.
:: (Mr ?) :: - Why can I never love the good boy? Mine always have to be bad. says:
what part of fuck off, didn't you get>

Nessa+Danny ABC 5 more days <3 Happy 1 Month Anniversary Danny I love you <3 {Sleeping} says:
Dude your the one still going on about it? For someone who doesn't wanna hear from me your sure trying hard lol.

:: (Mr ?) :: - Why can I never love the good boy? Mine always have to be bad. says:
Yeah sure whatever.

Nessa+Danny ABC 5 more days 8D <3 Happy 1 Month Anniversary Danny I love you <3 {Sleeping} says:
Peace out I said all I needed to in a text.

Nessa+Danny ABC 5 more days 8D <3 Happy 1 Month Anniversary Danny I love you <3 {Sleeping} says:
Bye see you @ the wedding. 8D

Now if no1 has ever seen the awesome face. Go look it up on Google. That's what 8D means. Probably the best face in the world. So basically I got rid of someone who I felt was being very cruel to me. About a week before me and Mr ? got into a fight cause he blamed me for using him for his vechile. Fact: Not true. I never want to stay @ my house cause there are 8 people residing here right now and it's to cramped and well everyone is on edge and bitchy and it's just not a good situation. Then I told him if he tried to maybe COMMUNICATE with me more he would know about my life and why I always wanna go out. I then told him that Friendship is a 2 way street. And I was the one always texting him. He never texted me once. But anyways on that note I'm done this rant I feel better and about 1,000 pounds has been lifted off my shoulder.

Oh and after I blocked him on my msn. He sent me an e-mail. But I'm not going to bother reading it. Cause it's honestly not worth my time. Since he obviously doesn't want to make it work since he ignored me on Gaia and then took me off Facebook. 8D So now he's going to spread nasty little things about me on Facebook. lol oh well people that do know me know I"m not like that. And the fact that I have proof of locked cell phone messages between the both of us and the copy and pasted convo means a lot more I guess than someone's word lol.

So tell me what you think and what not through a comment! Love you all 8D <3

Excitment up coming for Halloween!

So Halloween for me will be a very exciting time! Not only is my bf coming down for Halloween with his best friend who is a cool guy himself. My friend's mom's wedding is on Halloween!

So I have my best friend going with Danny's best friend as date friends to the wedding and me and Danny are going as a couple as well!

I'm so uber excited there will be a lot of people I haven't seen in forever! Like Chantal! Last time she was down I bought her an epic Star Wars card for her birthday =3 I think she still has it somewhere. And I get to meet her bf Ian. He I'm sure will be a charming individual who I look very forward to meeting.

Then we have Ian (gay one) who is my Perfect Dark and Cute buddy! He's adorable! If I could make a plushie of that guy I damn well would lol!

Then we have Kain going. That guy makes me lol no matter what mood I'm in honestly. When we get together the inside jokes just start a going lol!

Then Chelsi of course who I knew before we were both even born (true story our mom's were pregnant @ the same time lol) She's a sweetheart and she is one hot native I tells ya.

Actually all my friends are hot now that I think about it!

Then we have my friend Kellie going with her date Jessica haha they are both a blast and I love them both <3

So to impress my man who is coming down I went out and bought some BEAUTIFUL Clothes. I'm sure Doll would be proud of me cause they are THAT Gorgeous. Some jewelery a pair of boots to go with my outfit. Oh man I'm so excited.
For the Halloween party I am going as Poison Ivy I can't wait! I am even going to dye my hair for it! Not like well uber red but maybe an auburn or something with a hint of red in it we will see what my hairdresser says!

So I blew $350 today on buying things for when my man comes down I even bought Lingerie haha although I couldn't find a bustier to fit over my tits >> cause I'm not anorexic and titless like most of the world xP So I bought an awesome bra and a cute thong to go with it <3 I'm sure Doll would also like to steal them from me if she got the chance xD lol

But other than that I just finished dying my mom's hair haha she's going to be a red head again. Aaannnndddd other than that nothing really happened today. If you would like pics of the clothes I got please message me and demand the pics of all the things I got cause I got quite a lot haha <3

But lots of love I will try and post again soon! Maybe even some cute couple pics of me and my hubby ^^ <3

Ever sad or anything read this lol!

If your ever sad and need to be cheered up. Just read this trust me the lol's don't stop. It's quite great. I'm on this iMesh it's a program to download music well SADLY it has a chat thing. So until I figure out how to turn the fuckin thing off I get people like this sometimes. And let's just say how stupid they are make my day. Lol enjoy



Nessaroxsohbby:
yea that's my pic
dabel3er:
ur face like my ass
Nessaroxsohbby:
Um. Excuse me?
dabel3er:
am jok come on
Nessaroxsohbby:
your sense of humour to me is not amusing
dabel3er:
i have nukler deck its gd for u
dabel3er:
fuck ur family
dabel3er:
bh
Nessaroxsohbby:
you really need to learn to spell and speak ENGLISH
Nessaroxsohbby:
you know
Nessaroxsohbby:
that language people from the United States are suppose to know but are to retarded to speak most of them.
dabel3er:
ur face is so fucking asshol
dabel3er:
loooool
Nessaroxsohbby:
Again you need to go back to school. English is a class for a reason there buddy.
dabel3er:
am arab not fucking amirca so fuck ur relgin
dabel3er:
fuck ur mom dad ses
Nessaroxsohbby:
I don't have a religion I'm athiest dumbass
Nessaroxsohbby:
wtf is ses?
Nessaroxsohbby:
that Arab?
dabel3er:
15 m deck its gd
dabel3er:
sester
dabel3er:
bh
Nessaroxsohbby:
Your going to fuck a 15 m Dog who has a deck?
Nessaroxsohbby:
What?
dabel3er:
ur ass is big
dabel3er:
ohhhhhh
Nessaroxsohbby:
I know and most men think it's hot.
Nessaroxsohbby:
Thanks for that Captain Obvious.
dabel3er:
mmm u r bh that good
Nessaroxsohbby:
Bh
Nessaroxsohbby:
Big hottie
Nessaroxsohbby:
thanks.
dabel3er:
if i but my deck in ur ass u will expload
dabel3er:

dabel3er:
looooooooooooooooool
dabel3er:
fuck ur face ohhhhhhhh
Nessaroxsohbby:
You have the worst burns I have ever heard
Nessaroxsohbby:
my nephews can do better
Nessaroxsohbby:
and one of them is 6
Nessaroxsohbby:
what next
Nessaroxsohbby:
gonna call me a Poophead
Nessaroxsohbby:
a meaniepants?
Nessaroxsohbby:
hhhmm?
dabel3er:
i know how to tolke shit only so come suck my deck its huuuug deck
Nessaroxsohbby:
I don't want to hug your deck and btw it's Dick. and you can't talk shit since you can't even spell talk.
dabel3er:
ohhh u r booorn fucking girl fuck u tink u r teatcher fuck ur face ugly face hhhhhh go see black man to fuck u asshol
dabel3er:
go to hell see u bh bb
Nessaroxsohbby:
Uh I'm not a teacher I just have a brain. I don't need a black man I have a native k thanks. Altho it's not hard to get a black guy. And you really need to come out of the closet that your gay cause I think you have some inner problems cause your fucked up.
Nessaroxsohbby:
Get help. k thanks.
Nessaroxsohbby:
and I'm already going to hell and I'm alright with it xD lol

Huge Update on me so far.

Lots of things have happened. So much that I barely know where to start.

Alright so I guess I will start with the stuff to do with Hector. Although I won't say everything that happened between us or bad mouth him or anything like that cause it's not fair.

So Hector and me have not been doing well. He broke up with me about a month ago. We tried to hold on. But everything that happened between us. The hurt feelings the broken promises the fear it just got to us. And we finally ended up falling apart. What really does hurt me is the fact that after we broke up he's been drinking and going out with girls. And I on the other hand have done nothing along those lines. I've actually just been sitting @ home and crying when no1 else is around to vent and feel better.

Well we broke up cause I told him my love for him was fading. But it wasn't dead and that's sadly what he didn't understand and the fact that he won't fight is alright I understand. You shouldn't fight for something that isn't worth it. And I'm to tired to go it's alright I'll fix it! Like I used to I don't have the energy anymore.

Then we go on to Sam. Sam has been angry about Danny since him and Danny met and they got into a fight. The fight itself was stupid and Danny just shrugged it off and moved on. But Sam for some retarded reason has to hang on to it and always comment about it to me and then bad talk Danny to me. Which I do not appreciate. Btw. Race has nothing to do with anything people. So fuck off about it. To not date someone because of their race is really fuckin low. I'm a white girl. So your typical white girl would be a whore. Do I look like a whore to you? I thought not. People shouldn't judge when they don't even know the person. It's rude and unacceptable. And I'm finally putting my foot down. You will now get a warning if you are talking about someone. 2nd you get blocked. 3rd blocked for a week. 4th your gone. I'm tired of this childish bs. Someone as old as you should not be acting this way. It's pathetic and un needed and causes me more stress and drama than I need.

After 3-4 weeks of being broken up with Hector I am going out with Danny as of today. I still dunno how I feel about it. I can tell right now that my health is slowly beginning to fade and that depression seems to be getting the best of me lately as I have been not eating and just sitting on my computer listening to sad music and crying. Thank goodness for Doll who attempts to make me feel better and forget all the pain that people cause me. I love her for everything she tries to help me with. And she may not be near me but she is a true friend. Not like some people who live in the same town as me but ignore half my texts and everything.


My health is fading fast and soon I might end up getting really sick. I can tell the stress is to much because my back and shoulder always hurt. I have migranes. And I always feel weak and tired. Just now I almost collapsed a few times just walking up the stairs. I'm tired of the fighting the arguing and all the drama bs. If you aren't going to grow up then your gone. You've all hit the last fuckin line and I'm fuckin tired of it.

I'm tired of ppl instead of calling me sending me a message on facebook. It's not hard to look in the phonebook and look up L Godlien and then dial my number and then say why you can't make it. And stop ditching me constantly when I make days. Cause it's a waste of my time and someone else's that I could have been spending that day with who WOULD have been there.


All I know that currently right now if ppl don't stop their bs I am going to get really sick and end up either not going to work or possibly even ending up in the hospital. And I can guarantee you my true friends will not be happy and neither will Danny my bf to hear I'm in the hospital cause of ppl's bs.

I'm also done hearing people bitch about how horrible their life is but doing NOTHING TO CHANGE IT! DO FUCKIN SOMETHING FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! I'm pretty sure your life is NOT that horrible. So Suck it up and fuckin deal with it like an adult. Get things in order. Get your plans in gear. And fuckin FALL THROUGH WITH IT.


On the bright side me and Kellie went shopping yesterday. It was uber fun spent like so much money yesterday hahaha but it was nice to do something for myself instead of not spending having to save and all the pressure. It was a good release. It was also epic watching Kellie play L4D with me. I love that girl. Hopefully soon me and her can see each other. 8D She's a cutie and a sweetie <3 But I bought a lot of nice shirts. Message me or email or pm or whatever if you would like to see them.

I also don't mind helping people with their feelings. But you also have to realize everyone that I can't take much of solving everyone's problems as of now cause I am already way in over my head as it is.


I basically think my rant is done. I would like to thank Kain, Kellie, Doll, and Danny I dunno what for but just cause I can <3 Love you guys and all my friends. And I love you baby <3

Nessa out.

Sometimes I wonder if people are out to ruin your life just to make them feel about there life... Our house is crammed enough and all my mom ever does is yell @ me.... right now I honestly just want to run away because I'm tired of all the bs... all the people that yell @ me when shit happens... how people try and blame me and say I was going to go with them somewhere when I told them first off that I couldn't and that I already had plans and they knew that.... I'm starting to lose my faith in everything..... except a few good people... and Hector.....

Maybe Hector is right.... maybe I'm way to attached to him when I shouldn't be.... but he has to realize that he's the only thing that has made me happy and I don't want to lose that... I've lost enough... and been hurt enough... and been stepped on and destroyed that now I think it's time I deserve a small shred of happiness... and my happiness is with him... and somehow I am going to get him to Canada.... We will be together no matter what it takes... Because Hector is the only one I want the only one I want forever... Fuck everyone else if they can't treat me right anymore then there gone.

I'll be just fine.. pretending I'm not... I'm far from lonely and it's all that I've Goottt..... yea it's all that I've got.... it's all that I've got...........

Doctor?

People have been worried about me a lot lately. I have been having problems breathing sometimes when it comes to night. I think it might be because I need an extra pillow to elevate my head or maybe I have to many pillows and it's blocking my wind pipe.

I'm gonna try both and see what one it might be but I guess I should go to the doctor. It's been really freaking out Hector since he usually hears it when we're on the phone.
It happens more when I'm laying down than anything. And I used to have little spasms like this they wouldn't last that long but I'm getting them more often and more frequent. And it's really started to scare me and everyone who hears it and is around when it happens. I'm hoping it's not something like Asthma or Second Hand Smoking. I hope it's just something that can be fixed with something simple and not possibly happen again. But I do hope it's something treatable and not a pain in the ass. >_<

I'm really glad for my one friend. Well actually 2 of them. They're really good people. There names are Danny and Sam.

Whenever I'm having a bad time they always let me call them or call me and talk to me about it and calm me down and make me feel better. They usually do this when Hector isn't there and I need someone to really talk to and I'm usually crying.

Danny is known as my creeper but well he's stopped being as creepy as he used to be. And he's just a regular guy. You can't find any better guys than this I'm sure of it. They're always there, understanding, kind. They are really great friends

and I know that they will find the person they love and will spend there life with them <3 And I'm pretty sure that we will still be friends then xD

Sam and Danny were there through the Blair and Arley incidents. Sam has been here a little longer but that's alright shit happens sometimes. I'm sure they would have loved to know me before they did but you know shit happens a lot of the time xD

Stressed

I'm pretty stressed out I woke up having my stupid time of the month. It's hard for me to walk @ all when that's happening either because of the extreme amount of pain I experience while it's happening.
It usually disappears after the 3rd day Well it's the 2nd day. And I can barely walk and nothing is working I will have to go on birth control so that it will be controlled.

My mom was trying to force me to go into work today and I just can't because my emotions are shot and if one person says something mean to me or anything or if I take it the wrong way I burst into tears. And i'm working with the 2 biggest bitches today so I decided that I should go tomorrow when my emotions will be better. Well mom doesn't understand that.. and yea she's gonna flip on me when she gets home I know it. But I'm going to go make Meat Lasagna for the family and play RE5 while I wait for it to cook *sigh*

Yesterday's Incidents.

Yesterday I was really pissed. Every since my brother moved in with my family he has been like I dunno.

My mom says she buys these things for me and then gives them to my brother. And I usually need the Mars bar for energy for work especially the night shift and all that.

Then I was playing my Xbox360 it's hooked to the TV upstairs and everything and I NEVER get to play usually. Well my brother comes upstairs and says that he wants to watch the hockey game. And I'm very pissed off cause there is a fuckin TV with surround sound downstairs and shit. And mom says I should get off and then I do and I'm pissed because I never get to play and there is a TV downstairs and everything.

I was just having an all out shitty day yesterday. I hope soon days get better again.

What's been stressing me

What has been stressing me lately besides work is sometimes how my friends act towards each other. Well for reasons of keeping there names a secret we will call them B and K B is a male and K is a female.

So B lately has been having a hard time in life. He doesn't live with his parents like me and K and he gets mad real fast sometimes cause of all the stress. Well so anyways B came into town since he moved from where me and K live but he's moving back soon. So we went to K's house to hang out. Me and K were talking about Xbox360's cause I was trying to get to learn more info about the online stuff so that I wouldn't be completely stupid when I went to play it. I guess B got mad cause his money is tight because of living out on his own. So he got mad @ me and attacked me when me and K were alone. And I dunno I felt attacked because he didn't get mad and tell us both he just flipped out on me. It's not what I was intending to do I just needed to learn info about this online thing cause my friend wanted me to get it and I wanted to know more about it and K work's in the electronics section of Superstore so I thought she would know a bit more on it and she's owned her 360 for a month now. So I dunno that happened.

Today K was mad because she wanted her book back I guess because her dad had been nagging her about it. Well B had borrowed it and told her when we were visiting that he would get it to her asap but he had lots of stuff to do tomorrow. Well around 9ish me and B were hanging out we were playing Resident Evil 5 and getting pretty far on the mercenaries we were really excited. Then I guess K kept on texting B and nagging him out and trying to pick a fight. Well then B got pissed and told me that K wouldn't stop nagging at him for the movie so he was going to give it to her because she obviously didn't think anyone else had a life and stuff except her. So B stormed to get the book then he called me and told me that he was going to give it to me and that I could drop it off when I got the chance cause he couldn't go near her right now cause he would rip a strip off her. Understandable so I told B if he drove me over there I would give the book to K and he wouldn't have to talk to her and then she couldn't nag him anymore. He drove me over there and K's Dad answered the door and explained that K was getting the book because her dad wanted to read it and nagged at her about it and stuff. K's dad told me to thank B and I told him I would tell him what happened. So I went back to the car and B said he didn't care because she attacked him and was all saying I'm not trying to pick a fight and B felt like she was doing that like she always does to make him look like the bad guy.

What upset me the most was that B had yelled @ me over the 360 thing when he knew I didn't mean it like that. And I hadn't been having a few good days because lately I've been thinking about my dead friend and my 2 dead relatives that past away last year. Me and my bf have been really stressed and getting into fights which well can't really be helped when 2 stressed people get together it is never good usually and I'm on top of that working A LOT and figuring out these laws so that my bf can move to Canada. And I have a lot of people who yell @ me and take it out on me and who don't really seem to give a shit. I wish some people would try and talk calmly before they freaked out on the other people.....

Been Forever

Been forever since I wrote a frickin blog. Just been so busy with work and sleeping and just finished hanging out with friends which I haven't done in forever now. Some people all saying that their my friends and me questioning how loyal they are and everything.

Rejected work tonight was hanging out with a friend who came out of town and didn't want to ditch him or blow him off or anything (no not blowing off in that way he's gay and family xP)

Got an Xbox360 recently was really excited it's red and I got Resident Evil 5 xD And I have Left 4 Dead! I'm trying to find new games that are suppose to be fun to get <3333 I've heard good things about Assassin's Creed so I'm thinking about getting that one! <3 And I have to get the online play thing and shit so that I can play with my friends online xD Well I have a few that want me too xD

I dunno lately I have been feeling really shitty. A lot of stuff going through my mind. Some stress that I have to deal with. I miss Hannah a lot. It's been getting to the point where it's starting to effect me physically again as in getting sick and crying a bit more than I usually do. I usually never cry anymore. I dunno maybe it's cause I don't feel much anymore because I don't usually give a shit about people that don't matter

I'm hoping things go well and well not according to plan but @ least turn out ok in the end! It would be nice to have good stuff happen instead of all this negative shit. I just hope... in the end sometime soon... I will start getting my big breaks for being a good person and everything.... Lack of sleep and stress have been making me not myself lately and some people are even starting to worry i might get sick or something and possibly end up in the hospital but I think they're just being buttheads. And then there are the people who say they care but probably wouldn't if that ever did happen and try to get ahold of me and shit like that. Luckily I know who those people are and soon here I am going to get rid of them one by one.

I've also been stressed because people have been putting their drama on me lately. Drama that could easily be fixed but they don't and continue to cause it. I mean I can handle helping people with their problems and counselling but I don't need un-needed drama all the time in my life for fuck sakes. I dunno some people just need to grow up. That's just how I feel about it for the most part. Guess I should sleep since I haven't been sleeping well cause of work and stress. I work a whole week and I already know that's going to be hell as it is. UGH!

ONE DAY I hope to make a site somewhere to make a walkthrough for games! Or @ least a few! It's always been a goal/dream of mine for some reason I know it's lame but I'm over it xD

Once Upon A Time

Once Upon a Time
there was a girl very much in love with a man,
but she was very afraid to tell this man,
and still very afraid of what she was,
capable of doing and capable of being,
So she tried to hide from this man,
and she left this man for a month,
For some odd reason this girl couldn't understand,
the man was still waiting for her,
to swoop her off her feet and take her away,
and make her's his forever and ever.

The girl couldn't believe this fairytale,
So she hid away again,
not realizing that the man she loved,
more than anything she was crushing,
more and more with each passing day,
Finally the man asked the girl a question,
not even she could answer,
"Why don't you ever talk.."
The silent girl thought for awhile and,
couldn't even come up with an answer,
she just smiled and looked down,
The man very hurt,
by always getting the same reaction,
left for awhile to calm down,
so that he would not regret something,
that would end up for the worse.

As the man left,
the girl sat there,
and as tears,
streamed down her cheeks,
she herself wondered,
"Why don't I ever talk.."
She realized that through all she had been,
her heart was not as strong,
as it once used to be,
The girl once remembered a man,
who she had had not as strong,
feelings for as the one she was with,
but the feelings were that,
of the same origin,
"I loved that man not as much as,
the one I'm with now.."
But she remembered that,
a long time ago,
that same girl had left that other man,
a very long time ago,
that she had been scared,
of such feelings,
and was young,
and wouldn't think it would last.

After those days,
she promised herself she would,
never run from those feelings again,
and she cried bitter tears,
as she realized her promise,
was being broken right now,
"I'm not gonna give up,
I'm not gonna run from him,
I did it once,
I'll never do it again,
I love him more than anything,
and that's the way it will stay,
no more hiding or running,
or being afraid of these feelings,
it's time to embrace,
these feelings that make me so real.
I love this man more than anything,
and I will never let him go."

So the girl ran to the man,
and she told him she was sorry,
she cried tears,
and hoped that,
he would accept her apology,
and not throw her away...

Got my Game, Hector, and visiting!

OMG!
Totally got Left 4 Dead! I'm thinking next pay cheque I'm going to buy it straight out since I'm going to be saving for some of this pay cheque and if I can get @ least HALF of the amount I need that will work very well! <3 I also have to get Fable I + II, Resident Evil 5 and Devil May Cry 4 of course ;D

My baby wasn't feeling well yesterday so i was trying to cheer him up lots! <3 I can't wait till I get to visit him! I love him so much more than I can possibly explain to him in words! That totally sounds lame xD lolz

I definitely will have to buy the movie Coraline! I got Phantom of the Opera and the Devil Wears Prada! But that still doesn't complete my collection of movies that I need!

I bought Hector a present while I was away he has already seen it xD he thinks it's awesome! Which I'm very glad for he was pretty mad @ the price though! xD

But he shouldn't be upset I once bought a plushie worth double what his is worth xD lolz I still have it Ooohhh Sesshomaru <3 xD But I"m hoping to visit my bf this year sometime!

Hopefully in Summer but I dunno if that will exactly work >_< I could try going after summer a little bit and everything like in Sept but I might have to apply for classes *tear* so we will have to see <3

SLEEPOVER! OMG!

So today if you haven't already guessed it from the title I have a sleepover! I'm so excited I have been for a long time been needing some short of small small SMALL vacation to get away from my family, work, stress, and drama. And I finally got the chance now!

I am extremely happy to be getting away but I Know that I will miss Hector dearly T_T. If I can I'm going to see if my friend has long distance @ his house. If not then I'm gonna be like Well Bleh! xP Lolz

I'm so excited I wrote like this huge long list of ALL the things I'm going to bring xD and I'm not gonna lie but it seems like I'm gonna end up taking the whole freakin house @ this rate xD lolz Now I'm contemplating what I should eat for lunch!
xD Who knows what I will stuff in my mouth all I know is it will be good 8D

Lately things have been rough! I've been thinking about buying a PS3 so that I can get Resident Evil 5 and Devil May Cry 4.
Since I own Resident Evil 4 it's all good for my Wii xD and I own all of the Devil May Cry 1-3 I got this box set and it was like $30 so I pretty much paid $10 for each game and they were brand new xD lolz

A lot of people I have told have been really pissed @ me. But like I told them I can't help it that I'm major good @ finding deals ;D lolz <3 it's just the way of me <3

But I dunno what else to write besides me and Brad are going shopping and I will probably say what we got when I get to a computer and say what I bought and stuff xD lolz <33333

Busy Busy Busy Working Working Working xP

So anyways just putting in another word. Things have been busy people say they're worrying about me because tomorrow I get off work @ 7am and then at 1 I have to be @ my other job to work oO and I'm not off then till 4 and I have to get enough sleep so that I can work my Sat night shift so that I can work my Sunday night shift as well.

Then I have a sleepover Mon-Wed and another sleepover Thurs-Fri so let's hope I live long enough to see those xP

I can't wait for my days off but they always seem to go by so fast I don't really get to ENJOY them T_T it really sucks sometimes but I'm sure in time I will get used to working and everything. Let's just hope my other job doesn't call me lots since this job wants to train me lots and everything xD lolz.

Usually I only get enough time in the day to sleep eat get more sleep eat more sleep and then talk to Hector some be up for a bit then go to work xP Hopefully soon in about a month I will be done nights so it will be all good.

I got my car plated so hopefully soon i can go for my license so that I can be epic win and drive me and my friend's places instead of getting my mom to drive with me (I only have my learners license) in my car to work take herself home and pick me up @ 7!

Soon very soon everything will be on the right track and I will be able to sit back and enjoy the ride

Sometimes shit sucks. I see a bunch of people who are uber pretty and everything. Got everything they want in life and got it all planned out. And I look at myself. People say I'm pretty but you know I seem to not have a talent at all that anyone seems to care about. My drawing looks nub. I say I'm a gamer girl and people laugh at me. And that's all I really got going for me.

I'm thinking about taking up sewing, scrapbooking, and drawing more often. To see if I can find a hidden talent in there somewhere. I'm hoping something happens in there. The only thing that I have ever been good at besides Video Games is school but I'm done with that now.

Maybe here soon i will buy a Tablet a cheap one and start drawing online and see how that goes for me. It would be easier because I don't have a scanner and they cost lots of money and I wanted to open a shop on Gaia. But I really doubt anyone will really buy because my art isn't THAT good. But one day I hope to be a good artist <3 One day *sigh*

People think my life is great and everything when in reality I had dreams and am probably never going to get them either. Like being a model for anything in general like someone who makes their own clothes and wants someone to show them off and everything. Because the world doesn't have enough room for a big person like me

Been so busy lately. Work keeps me really damn busy. Tomorrow I will have been working a whole week straight. It sucks ass. But I can't wait for my paycheck! 8D I have some things I want to get like my license and plates for my car and a few games and maybe some clothes and then save the rest of the money! 8D <3

I'm going for a mini vacation sleepover out of town soon so I can get some relieve from the stress that has been piling up. Stress from like work, drama, and my ex bf who now texts me a bunch and is pissing off my baby. To further relieve stress I am going to start sewing and scrapbooking soon 8D I can't wait. I plan on sewing some dresses so that when I go visit my bf I have some nice dresses to wear instead of my normal boy hoodies or my low cut shirts all the time. xD lolz

After that mini vacation I have another sleepover to go to. I hope that person doesn't sleep on my arm again like last time and make it go numb oO you wouldn't believe how much that actually hurts when your arm is numb and tingles when someone is sleeping on it D:

Me and my mom are going to Scrapbooking class together in October it's a huge sleepover thing I can't wait! 8D It will be fun then me and mom will get to spend some time and it's something to look forward to in the future.

Soon here I have to get everything for school lined up so that I know when I can go to school. Since I planned to take a year off so that I could get some money saved up and I wanted to visit my baby before I started going to school!

I also get to plate my car tomorrow! I am so excited I just can't wait! 8D I hope it still starts and works good and everything since it has been sitting all winter and I forgot to start it a lot over winter D:

Me and Chelsi are going dress shopping Tues or Wed it should be super awesome fun! I can't wait I need to get a dress so that I don't look like complete shit and have 1 dress that I @ least didn't sew xP. I'm hoping to get a blue or a purple xD 8D <3>> *feels weird* xD

I have a bunch of signs and art I promised people on Gaia >_< So I should probably get that all done when I get the time D: I will do that on my mini vacation since I will have loads of time then x3

I should get to bed though xD I have work tomorrow from 1pm-4pm then to plate my car and babysit! xD

Very Random poem xD lolz

Once upon a time,
there was a girl who always cried,
and she wished people wouldn't lie
and that some people would die.

She wish her knight,
hadn't turned into a dick,
and wished somehow,
she could put him on a stick.

but shit happens man,
and that's the jist of it,
they come in like a lamb,
and go out with their shit.

Life is shit,
and people are dicks,
now come on man,
let's all get pissed.

Nightly Thoughts

I'm sitting here it's 12:55 and I'm very deep into thought. As I sit here and draw and type on my blog I wonder what the world has in store for me. Who my true friends are and who are not. Who will always be with me like they promised and those who will break that promise and leave me all alone. Who will stand up for me when someone attacks me.

Life sure isn't easy but it's not as complicated as some people make it seem. I have a job I love to death. I am going in the field of Healthcare and I'm loving the thought of it. Some people say that they can't even imagine doing my job. That the thought of bathing an elderly person makes them gag. Well think about it. Someone's gotta do it. And you know one day someone is going to have to do it for you when your old and crippled and fragile. So it doesn't really bother me as much as some people.

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about mine and Hector's future together. I've never told him but I want him to pursue his career and get a good education. He's really smart and I do want him to become a computer technician / programmer. I think that he will be truly happy doing it like I am with my current job. It's obvious that he enjoys working with computers and that he has an advantage over most people when it comes to technology. I want him to succeed in his dream and know that I will be there every step of the way.

Sometimes when I see little children playing and laughing I smile. Wondering how my children are going to be. Who's facial features they will have more of (mine or Hector's). What their personality will be like. What dreams and goals they will have. What type of life and career they will lead. What clothes they will wear. Who their friends will be. How many times their hearts will be broken. Who they will spend their life with. How my grandchildren will be.

The thing that i know so far is that. Hector is that someone I want to spend my life with. The career I am seeking is one I definitely will be happy doing maybe not all my life but for the time being. That my dreams will come true and that somehow in some way things may be tough but in the end it will all work out <3

First Blog! March 08/ 09

Hello welcome one and all!
I'm Jenessa aka Nessa. I have wanted to make a blog so randoms can read about my lame life xD haha I'm a hardcore Gamer Girl. I'm 5'8 and 1/4th and I'm taking by an amazing man named Hector the love of my life. I hope one day that we can live together and start a family.

I enjoy reading, writing, drawing, playing video / computer games, talking on the phone, chatting it up on msn, going to the mall, taking pictures, scrapbooking, and sewing.

My dreams are to be a model (Pretty unlikely since I'm a bigger girl than the anorexics xP) and to follow my dream to also be a Special Care Aide. A Special Care Aide is a person who takes care of the elderly. ^^ I've had this dream since I spent a summer with my Great Grandma who is 95 years old. She inspired me to go into this career and it's a job that I am loving to do right now.

I have yet to go back to school to start the Special Care Aide course but I do work at 2 elderly homes. One is really big and public. One is very private. Other than that there is not a lot about me.